Would You?

Would You?

-22 December 2009-

Would you believe me...
if I told you that it wasn't me?
if I said I was the one?
if I said I could not see?

Would you hear me...
if I was talking to you?
if I screamed a million screams?
if I told you I was dying?

Would you tell me...
that it will all be ok when it won't?
that you were coming to me?
that it was all my fault?

Would you hold me...
as I cried out my heart?
as I did not want to live?
as I wasted away to nothingness?

Would you hurt me...
Oh...
wait...
you already did...

Running In Wild Places

Running In Wild Places

-16 November 2009-

the waves of sunshine leave my face
as the sun sets low on this hill
I am nowhere, not anything, not anyone
I am someone, at peace, in freedom
I am connected to the cycles of nature
the sun and the moon,
the sea and the wild places
I am their child, born of the divine
as I stand here to watch the world shift to night
I am running in the distance with the deer
I am howling in the twilight with the coyotes
I am scrawing high in the skies with the crows
all around me, these wild creatures call
and I am confined to four solid walls of concrete
on a land so desolate, so currupted with history
its natural beauty is often lost to this concrete of reality.
what is it to run fully with no holding back?
I want to run, I want to pace, I want to howl at the moon
basking in all of her silvery light and glittered stars of ancients past
I want to let my animal spirit loose....fly my spirit...fly with the hawk.
I want to fly, to speak words, to dance in the night
and yet, as the waves of twilight skies set in
slitted tones of lavender, fushia, faded yellow and blue
all I can do is give thanks to witness such things
to be able to see the beauty that modern humanity
has in fact forgotten.... to wish there were others like me
that see that way I see.
to hear that way I hear
to speak the way we once spoke
and to touch things, now broken and fragmented.
so I stand here, basking in the ebb and flow of nature
as my lover comes up behind me to hold me close to him
I appreciate life just a little more
because I am no longer alone
I am no longer nowhere and no one
I am somewhere with someone who loves me close
and this is how I am free...
running in the wild places.

What Can’t Be Heard

What Can’t Be Heard

-13 November 2009-

What can't be heard
Is my heart beating
A million times louder
When you hold my hand
Or kiss my cheeks

What can't be heard
Are the way your eyes
Light up when you reach
Down to touch my face
Because you're taller then me

What can't be heard
Is the way we fit together
When you hold me with
Your arms around my waist
And your head on mine

What can't be heard
Is the silence and longing
That transpires between
You and I as our eyes meet
And as we part--until the next time

Rage Of The Soul

Rage of the Soul

 -1 July 2009-

anger...hated...rage...wrath
boils along my skin, can you feel it?
see these lies behind my cold eyes
I revel in these feelings.
my rage is contained in my beast.
it's the one quiet place, I can think, I can be peace.
In my hatred, I spout creativity
I spout inspiration to the masses of my soul
in my anger I control
I control my sanity.
having no fear of death can make one foolish
Night and Death become me, for I hear their call.
If the Darkness surrounds me, I am at his eternal mercy.
Through the mists of night, Death calls to me, but my rage responds.
She uncurls from her deep slumber, as if the siren's song calls
My wrath is a solid brick wall. my shield, my tower, my home.
if it ever fell down, there would be Hell. I am the predator,
don't give me your gun. Your holy crosses and your God can't save you now.
ANGER. Hatred. Rage and Wrath. Oh, Violence. How I'd love nothing better than to snap your neck.
Oh, how I long to kill you. shhh! Can you hear it?
RUN...run from me.

Chaos Demon

Chaos Demon

-11 January 2009-

chaos enshrouds my mind
as these lights infect my eyes
the darkness clouds my gaze
blood spills slowly from
these wounds I did not create

dripping down my socks
now they are dried and caked
these scars are red and blistered
there is just so much anger and hate

I do not know how they got there
it scares every fiber of my being
in the silence of my mind
he laughs at me

who is he? where is he from?
of this I am not sure
He is my other half, my demon-kin
charcoal black to my caramel skin
I think...
I think I've finally given in

Hear me now, sweet Goddess of mine
I am here ready to die
mock these words not
for it is my cry into the blackest night

"Hekate, Hekate,
Bringer of the lighted way
Let me carry on to these crossroads I seek...
Help me to see which is right for me."

These scars fade
These scars heal
but the wound is still festering
unhurt and unhealed

I can hear him
he's always there
but for now
I simply do not care

Moon Child

Moon Child

-5 January 2009-

O Circle of faith,
so far above,
and ever looking down;
dost thou watch me?
Judging me worthy?
Or not?

The circle of light
seen by the night's sky,
to guide our way,
to keep us from being lost;
yet we wander,
yet we wonder.

Are we lost?
What is this for?
What am I to do?
Why them?
Why me?
Why?

To question something so mighty,
something eternally there,
watching over us in the sky,
like a forgotten parent
ever loving of their children,
moonchildren and calf we are.

The Wheel of Life,
ever intangible
and ever thought of,
given to us on this night,
made visible,what are we to think?

Never ending and ever beginning,
it turns, and turns, and turns,
bringing them low,
bringing them high,
and ever in the middle
we tarry,
waiting.

Poems: There Are Days

Sometimes I wonder if things are worth it. I’ve never really been good at expressing my feelings towards those that I had crushes on.... I always write things for them and then burn them.... but a couple of things I have kept... such as a series of poems written for one particular person. These are called there are days....because everyday held something new that I liked about her.

There Are Days
There are days when I need you
And you’re just so far away
There are days when I want you
And you leave anyway
Your smile is my sun
And hold your hand makes me laugh
Not seeing you everyday,
Well I can live with that
We talk all day of simple things
Yet all of these emotions take hold of me
I can’t look at you while you speak
For fear of kissing your lips
And ruining what we’ve had
Since the beginning of this
It’s all too much to bear
And I can’t control it
I’m dying just to shout out:
Honey, I’ve loved you forever.