My Little Secret

My Little Secret

-14 May 2010-

She is my little secret
with hair as fine as silk.
I love to run my fingers through it
as I leave soft kisses upon her neck.
I trace little circles round and round
upon the smooth softness of her belly.
She trembles at my touch.

I enjoy seeing her eyes light up
against the sunlight of the day.
I enjoy hearing her laughter
at something silly I just said.

I encourage her to confront her problems
I encourage her to ease her fears
I only hope that someday she'll see
Just how much these last few weeks have ment to me

I offer hugs and friendship
I offer peace and love
I honor my vow of silence
to never tell anyone.

Even though I do love another,
I do not think love can be split two ways.
I can not sacrifice my soul
to have them both by my side.

So she will stay my little secret
with fair skin and hair as fine as silk
I only hope someday
she'll be able to read this

je t'aime ma petite

Illness

Illness

-3 May 2010-

the sparks of illness course through my body
the thick coating of mucus lines my lungs
as I detox from the harmful nicotine
I was once so addicted too
my nose can hardly breathe
and wheezes in complaint
my breathing is hard
my body is rejecting me
but I press on
poetry
rhyme
reason
logic
all good reasons to
allow my body the chance
to regain its health once more

The Darkness

The Darkness

-27 April 2010-

the darkness has me captivated
enthralled and captured
i can no longer plot my escape
for the shadows see me
and i am hopelessly lost
i wander through my nightmares
trying to make sense of the dreams
which cause me to wake in tears
WHY.... must you hurt me?
what sense of self does it give you
to push me down and take away
what mattered to me the most?
I am spinning, round and round
like those carousel horses breathing fire
watch me lose myself in the space in between
I wish the darkness didn't have me like it did

Flame in Darkness

 Flame In Darkness

 -20 April 2010-

Watch the wicker flame grow higher and higher
As the oxygen around burns up with desire
Feed and grow, watch and know
Take a chance and find you’ll see
Just how beautiful the fire inside can be

Take the heated silver to my chest
Carve the letters of meaningless words
I am the stalker, I am also the prey
To this need for self-destructive urges

The wax is melting as I am fading
Dripping slowly over the blurred edges
I am spinning, winding down
My column of strong values

I long to feel the sharp metal
Against my skin and to watch
The blood leak through
So transparently

The darkness begins to take over
The demons and minions whisper to me
I take in their advice and toss it aside
I am Queen and none dwell here but me.

For this is all inside my head
And if you think this is the end
Well I’ve got a story for you
You might find you’re already dead

My column of values has crumbled
I feel no remorse for it will be rebuilt
The demons and minions of the dark
Dance in glee, for I am their Queen

Watch the heated flames flicker and die
The smoke rises high into the sky
The darkness once again begins to fade
As the morning light ends my tirade

My Inner Sanctum of Sanity

My Inner Sanctum of Sanity

-20 January 2010- 

Slowly losing my grip on reality

I have no where left to go

Imagine a place where my evil thoughts run free

Where laughter can be heard manically

I give in to these thoughts

I release myself to the wickedness

I want to see your smiling face

Contorted into such sick and delirious pain

Smile and pretend that everything is okay

No don’t, please….. just let me go

It’s too late to help myself.

Or am I really that sick?

Allow me to show you a glimpse into my inner sanctum:

The walls are dark and dank

The musty sent of old blood fills your senses

Surrounded by chains and empty hopes

You have no way to escape

The scent of fear is thickening

The anxiety of “what next?” claws at your insides

The lust for blood is on the rising horizon

Pick up that blade.  Go on and do it.

Feel the sliver of silver

So sharp and metallic

Let it rest against your skin

Something new and shiny to assault your body with

Take it, press it in, and let the magic work begin.

Feel the stress, pressure, and negativity

Leave your mind and body as the crimson art work is exposed

Drawing in red, it’s a favorite past time.

Express yourself, twisting up and down

Side to side, alphabetical symbols

Concocted to create new words of madness

Never really ready to pass on, just allow the creativity to flow

Crimson art work at its best, always leaves the prettiest inscriptions

Create, manifest, concentrate and inspire.

To erase all feelings of self-doubt

To understand that art is to your own expression

The inner sanctums of my sanity

Have been exposed

What will you do now?