Wednesday, March 31, 2004

Heaven and Hell

Heaven and Hell

-31 March 2004-

When I awoke
From dreams aplenty
You were gone
The space beside me cold
Robbing me of all warmth
I try to get warm
In the empty bed for two
Slowly, but surely
Sleep overtakes me
So I dream of warmth
The warmth you radiated
And the warmth
Of the space in your arms
You crawled out of our bed
So as to not awake me
From my slumber
Of dreams of love and joy
To awake to that cold bed
And the words they could've said
But didnt, and let it be
They finally spoke them
but only in my dream
I awoke from heaven
Suddenly thrust into hell
Like everynight when I dream
I waited for you
Yet the bed just stayed cold
You went out the door
To search for that fame and glory
You fell for it
And became just another story
In the multi-part book
The book of life and death.

Tuesday, March 30, 2004

Gone

Gone

-30 March 2004-

I had it in my hands....
A piece of heaven so true...
I held her in my arms...
The one I loved so true...
She held me also....
Me, the fool in the end....
Gone without a trace...
Heart broken again...
Without a word...
She just vanished...
Without a goodbye...
Before her time to go...
She left me here alone...
These tears do no good...
There is no bringing her back....
What did I do...?
To make her leave so...
To make her crush me so....
To make her hurt me so...
And while I should hate...
I cannot help but love...
And while I should give up...
I cannot help but hope...
That she will be back...
That it was an emergency...
That she loves me too...
That I haven't lost her for good...
First just an hour...
Then passed by the second...
Soon it was three...
Four came next...
Five came just like all the others...
Six came and gone,
and nothing still...
Now seven is here,
and I cry again...
How many will there be...
Before I hear or see her again...
I shall just sit by...
Waste away slowly...
And count the hours...
Then the days...

Monday, March 29, 2004

Give and Take

Give and Take

-29 March 2004-

I thought I was
More than I could be
Maybe one day
Maybe I will see
What it really is
To be in love
All these childish games
Start to bring me down
I dont want to pull you with me
So just sit back
Watch me slowly sink
Till I finally drown
In my own world
I shall live forever
Lasting by my words
Time is running out
But I still have too long
To wait for you
To wait and see
Time will show us
If it could ever be
I think I see now
What love really is
I know I feel it now
One day, maybe
Maybe it will be
given back in full.

Sunday, March 28, 2004

Fucked Up

Fucked Up

-28 March 2004-

Don't fret
the damage
has been done
I'm the idiot
Who fucked
myself up
I had a
false belief
in the god above
got turned to
the hell below
They shunned me
For all theyare worth
Denied me
from the start
And I reach back
To the impossible
and no matter
what hurt I feel
I don't care
I just reach
further and further
Getting closer and closer
And then I realize
with a chuckle
How stupid I
have been
In the midst of life
To believe
anyone can care
about me
or even have love
To think a dream
could come true
for a loser like me