Fade

Fade

-19 July 2006-

It made me feel
It made me numb
It made me think
It made me stop
It looked so beautiful
Silver-edged against my caramel skin
It could make it stop
It had the power to make me stop hurting
Did I really want it?
Did I really want to make this a dream?
I picked it up
And looked at it
Turning it over
It was so shiny
So beautiful
I pressed it against my wrist
It was so beautiful
I pressed harder
So beautiful
It didn’t break the skin
It wasn’t sharp enough
It wasn’t good enough
I wasn’t good enough
We weren’t good enough
Angry red marks cover my skin
Where it wouldn’t break
Where it wouldn’t let me rest in peace
They’re starting to fade
Distant memories
And I’m starting to miss them
Already...

Puppet

Puppet

-2 July 2006-

A limp form
across a shadowed
room
lying broken,
defeated...
lifeless...
she struggles to get up
yet she can not.
She longs to run
to be free,
yet her will
is not her
own.
she is merely
controlled...
owned...
imprisoned...
she is trapped
with no where
to go.
He holds the strings
She's his puppet
twirling,
spinning,
dancing
round and round.
He uses her,
then discards her
with a frown
She lay's there
broken,
defeated...
lifeless...
she wonders if
she has a purpose
she tries to tell herself
she'll be ok.
she's tries to make the pain
go away.
she can't help it
onward he commands
twirling...
spinning...
dancing...
yet again.
she's in his control
she's a puppet
destined to
obey his commands...
and who am I?
I am merely this girl
trying to survive.