Never Please Her (song)

this is a song I wrote again, for my mother.... we had an argument about certain things regarding my relationship with my girlfriend and shhhhhhttttuuufffff that happened over the weekend. so here it is....

Never Please Her

if it mattered at all

I would tell you

why can't I live my life

you know I'll never please her

give me a reason

to always explain myself

why should I answer

when it will never please her

is everything that happens

pinned on me and my faults

its not up to the world

its only up to this one girl

give me a reason

to always explain myself

why should I answer

when it will never please her

don't tell me what I can do

don't give me the excuses

I don't want to listen

I will never win your approval

give me a reason

to always explain myself

why should I answer

when it will never please her

I'm winding down

I'm NOT giving in

I'm not sure what you'll say

I know that you'll never be okay

give me a reason

to always explain myself

why should I answer

when it will never please her

why can't I live my life

I will never win your approval

you know I'll never please her

It's only up to this girl now

and I'm NOT giving in

Convince Me (song)

this song is for those girls I know and dated that are always telling me how beautiful I am...and I just don't see it....

convince me

I can not recall the last time

I actually stopped and looked at myself

I don't wanna look at me

my scars just show too much

I can't stop it

I can't stop it

please my love

don't try to convince me

to believe in something I don't see

maybe in time I'll see it

maybe in time I'll believe it to be true

I see you looking at me

and I wonder how can that be

I wonder what is it that you see

I wonder why is it you chose me

please my love

don't try to convince me

to believe in something I don't see

maybe in time I'll see it

maybe in time I'll believe it to be true

I'm full of emptiness and sadness

I'm full of hurting and anger

I wonder what's wrong with me

how can anyone love me at all

please my love

don't try to convince me

to believe in something I don't see

maybe in time I'll see it

maybe in time I'll believe it to be true

but you see through me

you see into my darkness

that I've tried to break away from

you see the monster that's hidden

but you see beauty in me

you see beauty in only me

please my love

don't try to convince me

to believe in something I don't see

maybe in time I'll see it

maybe in time I'll believe it to be true

but I don't wanna look at me

my scars just show too much

and I can't stop it

but I can't stop it

DEAD END (song)

this song is about my mother:

dead end

i'm trying to hard to understand

how the fuck your feeling

but I just don't get it

I don't see what the fuck your problem is

I don't get why your so upset

I see all the anger and frustration

but I just don't care

I just don't care at all

its a dead end i've come upon

and i'm not sure if i wanna

turn back now or try again

i'm not sure about anything

your yelling at me

all over again

stop repeating yourself

no one wants to hear you

maybe that's the problem

you've become a fucking broken record

and no one dares to listen anymore

cuz we've all heard it before

its a dead end i've come upon

and i'm not sure if i wanna

turn back now or try again

i'm not sure about anything

i'm silenced by the

hurting of your words

but you know what?

i don't give a fuck anymore

its a dead end i've come upon

and i'm not sure if i wanna

turn back now or try again

i'm not sure about anything

i'm not sure about anything...

A Love For Me

A Love For Me

-14 February 2007-

sometimes I sit
and stare out my window
hoping for a love of my own.
streetlights head this way, shining on the night
as shadows slink back, away and out of sight...
how I really wish someone would hold me
and let me know everything is gonna be all right
you have to understand
I have many moods and swings
some days I'm the queen of the world
others I'm the bitch of the moon
and you wanna get away from me too soon.
I'll push you away when I'm feeling to close
you need to see past that and tell me no
for if you love me enough to care
you'll see all that is really there
I need to face my fears of being alone
I've always kinda been out on the cold
never known warmth for too long
and so from time to time i must move on
I'm looking for a love whose stable and sane
one who knows what she wants and won't play games
I don't care what you call yourself
as long as you love women and that's no doubt.
I play innocent from time to time
it helps me understand these worlds of dyke minds
but I'm never really innocent... at least not at first
until you catch me looking up your shirt ;)
so here I am, this is me,
take me or leave me.
but be a real love
and I'm here waiting.