lonely-blue-eyes (story)

her eyes ment mine like I had been scolded by a boiling ocean... her need so transparent to my preception. she pierced my gaze then asking me "why don't you come by and visit?" and I knew it as an order but I could only nod my head as her blue eyes held mine captive. We arrived at her house, outside her gate , the memories of winters' past crept up into my mind as I had loved her then almost as much as I did at sixteen....and now at nineteen.. what am I to her? a friend, a secret lover, that rebound fling.... but that was another place, another time.

you -
utterly undefinable
seeking no notice to let me in,
you once told me your life stories and dreams
those three years ago...
has it really been so long?
when I was too young
too innocent, too naive to see -

me -
wanting, lusting, needing
to be captivated by you,
and still you held off
by another lover
while I was just the rebound
I was nothing at the time

we faded away, moved on, but you were still on my mind from time to time... I had other lovers since you, since then.. but she was no better - not even close.
away went the seasons to make way
for growth and change
nessicary for a new way, a new light of thinking, of seeing -

you -
have taken me home twice or more since then
and each time we climb those stairs
I am reminded of what lies
behind that door.
I can feel your eyes lingering
I can feel your eyes wanting me

we enter your apartment and sit at the table, talking like old friends around your roomates, but I know the real reason we do this... its polite and friend making. I know most of your roomates already from the various conversations we have. we leave the table then to head to your room.

you -
upon getting me behind that door
proceed to kiss, touch, and roam
you hands everywhere.
we're somehow on your bed now
and I don't mind.

me -
I keep track of time mentally in my head
making sure I know when I have to go
as I enjoy your hands all over my body
bringing my passion to her head
as I haven't spent a night in your arms
in so long - as your lover
I don't think I have that priledge
as I stare into your blue eyes

you -
notice that our making has slowed
and ask me to stay the night
as you declare to me softly
no other lover has paid
as much attention to you as I do
pleading for me to stay the night
with those lone blue eyes
how can I refuse?

me -
I enjoy this game of wanting, needing
lusting after you, wishing I didn't have to
wishing you were already mine.
but your not - yet again
your seeing someone else
another one just like her again
while I just occupy your bed
and I secretly hope it doesn't last.
I just hope you don't become
attached and get hurt again

and in the morning you rise from our nest of sheets and blankets and I wish you didn't have to go to work.. but you look at me and tell me duty calls as you kiss my forehead...my neck, snuggling close... but I lay in your t-shirt as you move away from me to shower and dress for work. wishing it could be this way everyday, wishing I could be here always.

buts its not that simple....
as I'm only your sometimes lover
and not your full time lover.
but I need more....as this is not enough.

no-- its not.

sinful desire

I drink longly from the slit of blood she offered me
intoxicated just on her scent
I offer her my wrists to please her
and she grabs me swiftly,
throwing me down to her feet
I sob and sigh as she lifts me up
by my short hair
"anything to please"
i whisper murmerly
she towers above me
and claws at my back
a slow dull pain begins to spread
up my legs, into my thighs
around my center
up my belly
into my breasts
and down my arms
she slides her nails
over and over again
and i whimper
as the pain mixes with pleasure
all these thoughts leave my head
and i am left alone in my bed
In Inspiration I Leave You,
Wren Sparrow